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Looking Like The Real Thing

by Neil Porter

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1.
Looking Like The Real Thing ©2016 Neil Porter Not much more that I can do I just wanna get through to you I’ve got nothing left to say Pack my things and go away I try to see your point of view But there’s a bad man standing next to you You don’t know what you put me through I just wanna get close to you Feel like I’ve been washed ashore I can’t do this anymore I try to see your point of view Bad man standing next to you I couldn’t help myself You were looking like the real thing I had to stop myself Stop myself I’d get down on my knees But you know my skin is thin Looking like the real thing You were looking like the real thing You with him that makes me blue I just gotta get close to you One day you might understand I just wanna be your man I try to see your point of view Bad man standing next to you Bad man standing next to you Bad man standing next to you Bad man standing next to you Bad man standing next to you Bad man standing next to you Bad man standing next to you
2.
Snake Oil 03:23
Snake Oil ©2016 Neil Porter Mean Mr Mustard Got his foot in the door I don’t understand What you opened it for Drop your guard And he’ll walk right in Oozing that snake oil On everything Chorus: Snake oil, snake oil Come and get your snake oil And you’ll stay alive Til a hundred and ten Snake oil, snake oil Buy my fine snake oil Gonna make you richer Than you’ve ever been Mass hypnosis Wild tirade He’s got all the skills Of the snake oil trade Big on slogans Small on hands Gonna make America Snake again Chorus Money on the counter He’ll give us all a case Snake oil man In a snake oil race Drop your guard And he’ll walk right in Oozing that snake oil On everything Chorus Gonna make you richer Gonna make you richer Gonna make you richer Than you’ve ever been Snake oil, snake oil Gonna make you richer Than you’ve ever been
3.
First World Blues ©2016 Neil Porter Verse: | Am | A7sus4 | FM7/A | FM7/A | I’m a modern man I’ve got modern views Look at my feet I’ve got the latest shoes I drive a fancy car You should get one too I’m just a first world man I’ve got the first world blues Chorus: | Dm | D7sus/A | Am | Am | First world blues Feel like they’re coming tonight First world blues I hope I’m doing them right I help my first world friends I tend to pick and choose I’m learning all I can I’m on the morning news Can’t seem to do too much I drink the finest booze I’m just a first world man I’ve got the first world blues First world blues Feel like they’re coming tonight First world blues I hope I’m doing them right BRIDGE Em Bm Dm Am I’m running late and my car won’t start Don’t know what I’m gonna do My baby left me and she broke my heart Got first world problems Got the first world blues SOLO on verse First world blues Feel like they’re coming tonight First world blues I hope I’m doing them right I’m doing all I can Done all the interviews I smile and look so neat Watch all my “p”s and “q”s My girl’s a beauty queen You ought to get one too I’m just a first world man I’ve got the first world blues First world blues Feel like they’re coming tonight First world blues I hope I’m doing them right OUTRO on chorus First world blues Feel like they’re coming tonight First world blues I hope I’m doing them right
4.
I Walked In My Sleep Last Night ©2015 Neil Porter Just got back from promised land Doom in doorway blood on sand Have to do the best I can Just got back from promised land Big white bird on 2 day flight Twelve hours sleep might put me right Airports get me feeling tight Big white bird on 2 day flight I walked in my sleep last night I walked in my sleep last night SOLO Hole in pillow dreamed too hard Racked up fortune credit card Jet lag, gulf stream, beggar, guard Hole in pillow dreamed too hard Out the door in my sleep last night In the dark you’re out of sight Mumbling fool done nothing right Out the door in my sleep last night Walked in my sleep last night Walked in my sleep last night
5.
It Has To Be Arranged ©2015 Neil Porter The wind could never blow you out of my head The wind could never blow you out of my head “It has to be arranged” she said The wind could never blow you out of my head The rain will never wash you out of my heart The rain will never wash you out of my heart “It has to be arranged” she said The rain will never wash you out of my heart Nothing’s gonna dig you out from under my skin Nothing’s gonna dig you out from under my skin “It has to be arranged” she said Nothing’s gonna dig you out from under my skin
6.
Bird Without Wings 2016 Neil Porter 84bpm Intro: | Em | Bm7 | x4 Em B7 Man is a bird without any wings CM7 Em Bird is a man without sorrow Em B7 I just don’t know what makes me think of these things CM7 Em There’ll be some more news tomorrow Seems like we’re losing sight of the light We often misread the meaning Shifting the picture off to the right Makes it somehow less appealing Esus4 Its gonna be a long night A7sus4 Its feeling like a bad dream Csus4 Its gonna take a long fight Dsus4 Its gonna be a bad scene Esus4 A7sus4 We’re just birds Csus4 Dsus4 Without wings Up on a wire and out on a limb Maybe you feel the connection Caught in a cage and your chances look slim You might want to change your direction High and the low, black and the white We’re all together now, we’re altogether now Midnight wisdom and eagle sight Man is a bird without wings Its gonna be a long night Its feeling like a bad dream Its gonna take a long fight Its gonna be a bad scene We’re just birds Without wings SOLO: | Em | B7 | CM7 | Em | x2 High as a kite looking down on it all What will it look like tomorrow? Man is a bird without any wings Bird is a man without sorrow Its gonna be a long night Its feeling like a bad dream Its gonna take a long fight Its gonna be a bad scene We’re just birds Without wings Esus4 A7sus4 We’re just birds Csus4 Dsus4 Without wings Esus4 A7sus4 We’re just birds Csus4 Dsus4 Without wings Embb5 x 8
7.
Be My Dirndl Girl ©2016 Neil Porter Off the plane in Munich What could possibly go wrong? Pambula to Neuhausen Hand me down my Lederhosen You can put your Dirndl on We’re going out to Karneval Chorus: I mog da Tanz und Drubl I mog de ganz Hektic I mog de schee Marktfweiba I mog de ganzen Sicht Wir gehen in die Innenstadt Wir trink’ ein bißel Bier Man muß Weißwurst nur am Morgen eßen! I’ll embrace my inner Bayer They can’t get me out of here Gonna tune to Bayern Drei (from now on) Chorus: I mog da Tanz und Drubl I mog de ganz Hektic I mog de schee Marktfweiba I mog de ganzen Sicht INSTR Wir können Alpinkatzen hören Mit Hubert und Zabine Ich hab’ mich selbst verloren Dießener Straße, Rotkreuzplatz And all points in between Mehr Bier hier, mehr Wurst da Ja ja Chorus: I mog da Tanz und Drubl I mog de ganz Hektic I mog de schee Marktfweiba I mog de ganzen Sicht Bridge: Aber! Die häßliche Hexe aus München Hat für mir viel’ wahnsinnige Wünsche Sie wünschte für mir Kein mehr Wurst, kein mehr Bier Die häßliche Hexe aus München! Jawohl! I hob da Minchna Narrisch gern Ich bin kein alter Kerl! Take me back to Nymphenburg I’m gonna be your Lederhosen boy You can be my Dirndl girl We’re going out to Karneval A ROUGH translation: Verse 1: Off the plane in Munich What could possibly go wrong? Pambula to Neuhausen (Pambula Beach is where we live in Oz, Neuhausen is the suburb we lived in in Munich) Hand me down my Lederhosen (traditional Bavarian leather shorts for men) You can put your Dirndl (traditional Bavarian dress and blouse for women) on We’re going out to Karneval (long celebrations for Fasching in various parts of Germany) The chorus is Bavarian(ish) - tut mir Leid Siegfried und Traudl! - and translates something like: I love the dancing and buzz I love the whole craziness I love the pretty market ladies I love the whole sight (ie thing) Verse 2: We go to the city center (Marienplatz) We drink a small amount of beer One must eat Weißwurst only in the morning! (a Bavarian culinary rule) I'll embrace my inner Bayer (Bayer - Bavarian) They can't get me out of here Gonna tune to Bayern 3 (a popular radio station in Munich) (From now on) Verse 3: We can hear Alpinkatzen (an Austrian band we first heard at Carnival) With Hubert and Zabine (Hubert von Goisern and Zabine - leader and sexy yodeller in "der Alpinkatzen") I got myself lost Dießener road, Rotkreuzplatz (the street where we were living and a nearby centre) And all points in between More beer here more sausages there The bridge: But! The ugly witch from Munich Has for me many crazy wishes She wished for me No more sausage, no more beer The ugly witch from Munich! Oh yeah! I hob da Minchna Narrisch gern (Bairisch "I like the Munich craziness") Ich bin kein alter Kerl! (German "I'm not an old guy", but there is also a vernacular meaning which I won't go into ;) Take me back to Nymphenburg (the castle a block or two away from Dießenerstraße) I’m gonna be your Lederhosen boy You can be my Dirndl girl We’re going out to Karneval
8.
What Kind Of Men Are They? ©2015 Neil Porter I’ve been watching all the news today Friends and strangers many miles away I had to turn away I couldn’t look What kind of men are they? The world has changed again in just one night Not much that I can do to put things right I had to turn away I couldn’t look What kind of men are they? I just want to know that you’re alright I don’t understand what all this means I’m far away from the city of light Far away from the land of dreams Now I’ve heard that you are all OK The world can wake to face another day I had to turn away I couldn’t look What kind of men are they? We’re all walking round on eggshells now Life goes on, sometimes I don’t know how I had to turn away I couldn’t look What kind of men are they? I just want to know that you’re alright I don’t understand what all this means I’m far away from the city of light Far away from the land of dreams
9.
Time Will Tell ©2016 Neil Porter People watch circuses People eat cake Don’t know where we’re heading But we’ve made some mistakes Wonder what’s next Will the world disappear What’s coming around the corner Where do we go from here? Time will tell Time will tell Don’t hold your breath Waiting for the rest Time will tell Time will tell Time will tell Time will tell Time will tell Time will tell Don’t hold your breath Waiting for the rest Don’t like what you’ve got Want to give it a shake (Where do we go from here?) You’ve lost the plot And the whole world could break (Where do we go from here?) Reality check Time to think what you’re brewing (Where do we go from here?) You’re a total train wreck That’s the way that we’re going (Where do we go from here?)
10.
Judgement Day ©2016 Neil Porter Big fella’s got a good view Waiting for the judgement day You know he’s gonna see you Waiting for the judgement day On the judgement day Yeah there’s a judgement day Big guy blue sky pigs fly Gonna be a judgement day Talk back, brain hack, back track You take my breath away I wouldn’t want to be you Waiting at the pearly gates some day On the judgement day Yeah there’s a judgement day Big guy blue sky pigs fly Gonna be a judgement day Break SOLO Stop boats, blue notes, get votes You locked them all away No voice, no hope, no choice You took their lives away On the judgement day Yeah there’s a judgement day Big guy blue sky pigs fly Gonna be a judgement day Break Hard as steel and cold as ice You’ll never get to paradise I really hope you get what’s coming On the judgement day On the judgement day Yeah there’s a judgement day Big guy blue sky karma’s gonna get ya On the judgement day There’s gonna be a judgement day
11.
MoJoZu 03:15
MoJoZu ©2011 Neil Porter I’ve got your number in my pocket I’ve got your sweet face in my head Gotta get to work But I think I’ll stay here in bed I’ve got money in my wallet Hearing something that you said I’m gonna get down to the MoJoZu instead Down at the MoJoZu Hanging at the MoJoZu I’m gonna trawl the lost and found At the MoJoZu When your telephone stops ringing And your rent is overdue Get yourself on down To the Mojozu If your heart has started pounding Walls are closing in on you You’d better get down To the Mojozu Down at the MoJoZu Hanging at the MoJoZu I’m gonna trawl the lost and found At the MoJoZu If you’re fighting with your black dog If there’s danger up ahead You’d better get down To the MoJoZu instead Radar on for early warning If your code is turning red You’d better get down To the MoJoZu instead Down at the MoJoZu Hanging at the MoJoZu I’m gonna trawl the lost and found At the MoJoZu
12.
Paint Them How You Feel ©2015 Neil Porter Trusting you was my first mistake I didn’t guess you could bring me down so bad I couldn’t see you were just a fake Didn’t think you could make me feel so sad You've seen all the words I've written You can read me like a book You can reach your own conclusions About the roads I took You can form your own illusions You can paint them black or white You were long of limb and I was short of breath I never thought that my heart could break like that Would you catch me as I’m falling Down to earth just like a stone Or would you watch me as I hit the ground And leave me there alone You can have your own illusions You can paint them black or white You say you know just how I feel I never thought I’d hate you being ‘round I’m putting up my cone of silence Taking down my “open” sign Now I’ve seen some dirty players You’ve done that for quite some time You can build your own delusions You can paint them how you feel
13.
Swimming In Mud © 2016 Neil Porter It’s big and it’s dirty Like a river in flood Just like driving in traffic It’s like swimming in mud I was drowning in quicksand I was going down slow I’ve been swimming upstream With nowhere to go I was simmering slowly Not quite boiling my blood I stopped taking the tablets I came down with a thud Drowning in quicksand I was going down slow I’ve been swimming upstream With nowhere to go Chorus: Not going back to Sydney anymore Don’t want to visit places where I used to go before I can do without the harbour and the locks upon my door Ain’t going back to Sydney Anymore SOLO I’ve been burning my bridges I’m not easily led While my heart keeps on beating Then you’ll know I’m not dead I was drowning in quicksand I was going down slow I was swimming upstream With nowhere to go There’s no train at the station There’s no room at the inn You can lose yourself In the city of sin If I’m drowning in quicksand I’ll be going down slow I’ve been swimming upstream With nowhere to go
14.
Who You Fooling? ©2016 Neil Porter Verse: Cm C7sus4 Cm Csus4 Chorus: Fm C7sus4 Fm Csus4 Don’t misunderstand me I’ve got promises to keep You know you make me laugh sometimes You know you make me weep Please don’t reprimand me I’ve got things I need to say You know how much I’d miss you If you ever went away Who you fooling? Who you letting down this time? Who said this game is over It wasn’t me Who you fooling? Who you shoving down the line? Who flushed you out of cover It wasn’t me Who you fooling? Don’t know what you stand for Seems like we’re in trouble deep Don’t know where you’re coming from I don’t know how you sleep I’m hearing what you’re saying It means nothing much to me Not liking what you’re doing You’re not who I want to be Who you fooling? Who you letting down this time? Who said this game is over It wasn’t me Who you fooling? Who you shoving down the line? Who flushed you out of cover It wasn’t me Who you fooling? SOLO We’ve been down this road before Still haven’t changed my mind I’ve been doing all I can You’ve been flying blind Days of desperation Nights of deep despair I hope to see the last of you You don’t seem to care Who you fooling? Who you letting down this time? Who said this game is over It wasn’t me Who you fooling? Who you shoving down the line? Who flushed you out of cover It wasn’t me Who you fooling? Who you fooling?
15.
Who Walked These Ancient Trails? ©2016 Neil Porter I want to see the picture that you painted - valley red and gold I want to turn the pages of the stories in the stones I hear the voices of the people who have walked these paths before I heard some stories and I want to hear a whole lot more I’m going where the sun goes down Go where the south wind blows Big river calling me Shake this shadow off my soul During the countdown In my mind I’m wondering Who walked these ancient trails? I’m missing your town Something deep inside of me Something there is calling me INSTR I’m going where the sun goes down Go where the south wind blows Big river calling me Shake this shadow off my soul Maybe I’ll see you again - through green and white and red and gold We’ll share a drink or two - I’ll hear your tales unfold We’ll walk together - and every step you’ll show me more But until that time comes - I’ll dream just like before I’m going where the sun goes down Go where the south wind blows Big river calling me Shake this shadow off my soul During the countdown In my mind I’m wondering Who walked these ancient trails? I’m missing your town Something deep inside of me Something there is calling me

about

Finally finished my fifth collection of original songs, and here it is: "Looking Like The Real Thing" contains songs written in Australia and France, recorded in jiguma studio in Pambula Beach NSW. As you'll hear, my songs are about diverse subjects in a variety of styles from acoustic rock to jazz influenced blues, RnB to disco ;) There's always a tangential element to the words - some are obliquely political, others are based on our "home away from home" in beautiful Franche-Comté, and another on our experience living in Munich in 1994.

For the first time, this collection is (musically) a purely local effort - in fact VERY localised indeed (mainly me) with vocal support from Jan, and a few of the PBGB crew (Peter Reid, Kerry Hynes, Mick Nadin) playing on "Snake Oil".

I play most instruments on this set of recordings - guitars, bass, keyboards and drum programming - as well as vocals and production.

Cover art is from a photo of a small section of the Berlin Wall taken by me in 2015 - artist unknown.

credits

released January 1, 2017

Neil Porter: Vocals, Guitars, Bass, Keyboards, Drum and percussion programming

Except:

"I Walked In My Sleep Last Night" and "First World Blues"
Jan Porter backing vocal

"Snake Oil":
Mick Nadin - harmonica
Kerry Hynes - backing vocal
Peter Reid - drums

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Neil Porter Pambula Beach, Australia

Singer songwriter from Pambula Beach in Australia.

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